Joe Biden Takes Amtrak to D.C.—For What, Exactly? Ice Cream and Make-Believe?

Joe Biden’s Ice Cream Commute: The Babysitting Chronicles Continue

Someone might want to break that news to Joe Biden that he is no longer the President. He’s been seen riding Amtrak to Washington, D.C. For what you ask? No one knows. It wasn’t just the sight of the man that raised eyebrows. No, it was what he was doing: talking in the quiet car and trying to order ice cream like it’s a damn café car in 1955. But why is he riding the Amtrak to D.C.?

‍ A little Americanist side-eye this afternoon as Joe Biden boards the Amtrak! But seriously, where’s he off to and what’s on the agenda? Just another mystery in the land of the unexpected! #PoliticalPuzzles #BidenMystery pic.twitter.com/4w9XV7WTFy

— Carol Marks – An Americanist (@AnAmericanist_) June 20, 2025

From Amtrak to Make-Believe Meetings

Let’s start with the obvious: why is he commuting to an office in D.C.? What office? Who let Grandpa think he still has a job? Is there a sticker chart at the nursing home that reads, “Pretend President Duties, check”? Are the aides taking shifts like frazzled summer camp counselors, just trying to keep him occupied so Jill can finally sit down with a glass of wine and not have to remind him what decade it is?

This is like Weekend at Bernie’s, but with Amtrak and a waffle cone.

According to reports, Biden is still riding the train he spent decades romanticizing. But now it feels less like man of the people and more like a confused senior trying to relive his glory days. Sources say he speaks loudly in the quiet car, which any real commuter knows is sacred, randomly asks for ice cream, and makes regular trips to a so-called private office in D.C. several times a month.

He may be out of office, but he’s still driving people crazy.

Former President Joe Biden has been overheard asking for frozen treats while commuting on Amtrak to his government-provided DC office — where little known work is being done — as well as allegedly forgetting a top rule of the train.

“He was talking in the quiet car!” a disbelieving Amtrak regular vented to The Post.

[…]

Several alums of the Biden White House say there’s intrigue into what exactly he is doing most weeks at his temporary office a short distance from DC’s Union Station.

The General Services Administration pays for the office until July, meaning Biden will have to relocate soon if he intends to continue commuting to the capital.

“It’s really a mystery,” one former Biden aide said of his activities while visiting DC, noting that staff still working for Biden “avoid answering.” – New York Post

It Takes a Village to Babysit a Biden

So again… what exactly is he doing in D.C.? Taking calls from Corn Pop? Reorganizing the Situation Room Lego set? Or maybe it’s just occupational therapy with Secret Service supervision. Put a flag in front of him, throw in a couple of folders marked “Top Secret,” and boom, Joe thinks he’s still running the country. Let him have his moment. It’s cheaper than memory care.

If you were Jill Biden, wouldn’t you send him off on a train, too? Just a few hours of quiet, maybe catch up on a book, maybe breathe without hearing about Scranton for the millionth time.

And let’s not pretend she’s doing this alone. Jill has her own inner circle, with Anthony Bernal serving as the running point on this extended post-presidency production. You want to know who’s really managing the day-to-day circus and keeping Joe on script?

This guy. Talk about a side-eye moment!

Delusion, Funded by You

Because behind every confused Amtrak commuter with an ice cream craving, there’s a team making sure he doesn’t wander into the wrong room or ask Siri how to declare war on Delaware.

This whole thing is less a retirement and more a Truman Show episode nobody bothered to cancel.

But sure, let’s all pretend he’s busy with important matters, like warning the mirror about climate change or holding a press briefing for the coat rack.

At this point, it’s not public service. It’s performance art. A slow-moving, ice-cream-fueled charade designed to make one man feel useful while the rest of us foot the bill. Joe Biden is no longer president, but they’re still hauling him back and forth to D.C. like he’s got a briefing to give — or remembers what one is. And the rest of us? We’re stuck watching the rerun, wondering when someone’s finally going to call cut on this bizarre post-presidency roadshow.

Feature Image: AI generated

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