Another Joe Biden Memoir will be hitting bookstores soon, because you know, there’s not much time left.
How many memoirs does one old man need? Apparently, at least three — if you’re Joe Biden. Because when you’ve spent four years mumbling through pressers and redefining reality, you might as well try to rewrite history too.
Third Memoir for Joe Biden, Good Grief
According to Joe, every president “is expected to write a memoir.” Sure, Joe. One memoir makes sense. Two, maybe. But three? At this point, he’s less a former president and more like a confused old man stuck in a Word doc.
Former President Joe Biden revealed Wednesday that he’s writing a memoir and has been fielding calls from world leaders urging him to “get engaged” since leaving the White House.
Biden, 82, was asked about his post-presidency activities during a Q&A session at the Society for Human Resource Management’s (SHRM) convention in San Diego, where he delivered a keynote speech.
“Well, you know … it sounds strange … the problem is there is not a lot of time,” Biden responded, in what would be a rambling, nearly 10-minute-long answer. – New York Post
Oh, and where did this big memoir revelation drop? At a Society for Human Resource Management convention in San Diego, nothing screams leader of the free world like taking the stage at the same place that hands out participation trophies for PowerPoint slides on “unconscious bias.”
Biden’s Encore?
Joe Biden, once commander-in-chief, now keynote speaker for the HR department, the same folks who’ll write you up for misgendering Bob from accounting after his TikTok transition reveal. Fitting, really. The guy who turned the entire federal government into a DEI daycare center finishes his career nodding along with the same HR consultants who tell you “diversity is our greatest strength” while your company tanks.
What’s next? A TED Talk for OSHA? A guest spot at a training seminar on inclusive restroom signage? Maybe a book tour stop at the DMV break room. If this is the big comeback, Europe’s leaders better brace for the sequel: Memoir #4 — My Truth, Your Policy Manual.
Biden’s memoir:
Chapter One: That thing.
“I was well I mean I you know that thing with the thing when we did the thing over at the place where we did the thing…anyway”
Chapter Two: Anyway
The End https://t.co/kMI45Tf8Hm— Яob (@robx_d) July 3, 2025
“Get Engaged,” They Said — With What?
And here’s the kicker: he claims he’s getting calls from European leaders asking him to get engaged. Engaged with what, exactly? The same NATO alliance he left on life support? The same border crises he helped fuel? Or maybe they’re just calling for advice on how to make men into women overnight; the Biden administration’s specialty.
So maybe his third memoir will finally answer the big questions: How do you unify a country while calling half of it extremists? How do you protect kids while forcing them to believe biology is hate speech? And how do you run for president when you can barely run for the ice cream truck?
This is the same presidency that gave us a parade of men in skirts, lipstick, and military uniforms while lecturing the rest of us about “diversity, equity, and inclusion.” Under Biden, it was all pronouns and painted nails at the Pentagon, while inflation ate paychecks and crime devoured cities.
So sure — let’s trust the guy who thought a nuclear waste official in stilettos was a symbol of progress to pick up the phone and fix Europe’s problems. Maybe his next memoir can explain how any of that worked out for us. Spoiler: it didn’t.
- Chapter 1: Men Can Be Women.
- Chapter 2: Borders Are Racist.
- Chapter 3: Can Someone Help Me Find My Phone?
By the time he’s done, Biden won’t just have the most memoirs. He’ll have the least to actually say.
Biden, who was forced to bow out of the 2024 presidential race last July following a Democratic Party revolt over his disastrous performance in his only debate against Trump, also indicated that he’s been spending time communicating with his family.
“Every single day, I contact every single one of my grandchildren,” Biden, who as president repeatedly failed to acknowledge the existence of the granddaughter his son, Hunter, fathered out-of-wedlock, claimed. – New York Post
And how about this for Chapter 4: The Forgotten Grandchild?
Every single grandchild gets a nod, except Navy Joan Roberts. I’d actually read that book, sir. How does a man look America in the eye and talk about “family values” while pretending his own flesh and blood doesn’t exist? Out of wedlock or not, it’s downright shameful to erase a child because it’s politically inconvenient.
And let’s not forget who her father is: Hunter Biden; crack pipe connoisseur, hooker fetish hobbyist, and international shady business middleman. He doesn’t want anything to do with his daughter either. Which, in the grand scheme of things, might be a blessing for her. Because when your dad’s résumé includes sex tapes, cocaine binges, and questionable deals in Ukraine, you’re probably better off not getting that Christmas card.
But go ahead, Joe, crank out another 300 pages about what a stand-up family man you are. Just make sure there’s room in the footnotes for the grandkid you keep pretending isn’t there.
At this point, Joe’s memoir mill is just another excuse to pretend he’s still relevant, when even the world leaders “calling him for advice” are probably just checking to see if he remembers their names.
Biden’s Post-Trump Pivot or Paycheck Panic?
Now that Trump’s “100 days” spotlight has dimmed, Joe Biden suddenly wants back in the public eye, not to lead, but to cash in. After the scathing biography from Jake Tapper laid bare “Biden Inc.” with visuals of multi-million-dollar lifestyles for every Biden grandkid, Uncle Joe seems desperate to stage a comeback tour. His plan? Score a high-profile speaking gig (SHRM wasn’t enough), collect appearance fees, and bolster that brick-and-mortar memoir machine.
Apparently, being a former president isn’t enough; now he needs revenue streams. Cue the town‑hall auditions, post‑Trump pressers, and shameless PR blitz: “Engaged” again, but only if it comes with a check. This isn’t legacy-building, it’s a hustle.
In the end, maybe it makes sense that Joe Biden’s greatest legacy is just another ghostwritten doorstop nobody reads. The man who spent four years telling us men could be women, criminals could be heroes, and inflation was “transitory” now wants one last shot to convince us it all made sense. He wants to be out there, “engaged,” standing up for himself, but only if there’s a speaking fee attached and a friendly HR crowd to clap on cue.
Meanwhile, his own granddaughter stays erased, the world leaders calling are probably humoring him, and Hunter’s off doing what Hunter does best, torching whatever scraps of moral high ground the Biden name had left. So go ahead, Joe, scribble out your fairytale. Slap a hardback cover on your revisionist history. Just don’t expect America to buy it. We’ve lived it. We know how it ends. And we’re not reading it again.
Feature Image: Gage Skidmore from Peoria, AZ, United States of America, CC BY-SA 2.0, via Wikimedia Commons/edited in Canva Pro
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