Trump’s Royal Visit is just a few short months away. Dear Mr. President, I have one simple request. Please take Harry and Meghan back with you, deliver them straight to the King, and leave them there. Much appreciated.
Donald Trump is heading back across the pond for an unprecedented second UK state visit hosted by King Charles. According to Breitbart, the former and perhaps future President will spend three days at Windsor Castle this September. The British press is already bracing for impact. So are we, and we plan to enjoy every second of it.
AP reports the visit is seen as part of Starmer’s effort to keep Trump close and lessen the impact of some of his polices on the U.K.
The relationship between the two appears amicable, and has helped the U.K. avoid the sort of hefty U.S. tariffs that other nations are seeing.
It remains unclear whether Trump will have the opportunity to speak to parliamentarians at Westminster, the BBC notes.
The House of Commons will not be sitting at the time of Trump’s visit as it will be in recess for party conference season – but the House of Lords will be in session. – Breitbart
Can Trump Take Harry and Meghan Back to the King?
Let’s just say what everyone is thinking. Can Trump please take Prince Harry and Meghan Markle back to the King? The Sussexes turned royal life into an endless pity podcast. Maybe Trump can round them up, fly them back across the Atlantic, and hand them over to King Charles with a polite “Your problem again.” They want attention. He wants the headlines. The King might want an aspirin.
The First Lady’s Fashion vs Royal Protocol
One thing is sure: Melania Trump’s royal fashion will become an instant headline. The First Lady never fails to deliver a wardrobe that makes palace staff question every ironed hem and pressed hat in the building. Windsor Castle will look like a fashion show when Melania glides past the royal portraits in couture and stilettos. The royal watchers will lose their minds over every glove and handbag.
President Trump is visiting the UK on a State Visit in September! He has requested that the Princess of Wales specifically attend, as they have never met.
I’m thrilled! Can’t wait! pic.twitter.com/aYeH4molgd
— NaomiSky15 (@NaomiSky_15) June 30, 2025
Lord, Spare Trump the Climate Lecture
One sincere prayer for this royal dinner? Please do not let King Charles start in on climate change lectures. Charles wants carbon-neutral castles and organic gardens. Trump wants cheap oil, coal, and enough gas for every pickup in Texas. This dinner is awkward enough. Let Charles keep the recycled tea bags to himself, and Trump keep the golf course blueprints in his pocket.
More Royal Shenanigans to Watch For
Secret Service vs Beefeaters
Picture the Beefeaters in their tall fuzzy hats trying to navigate the Secret Service security bubble. Meanwhile, the royal corgis are probably planning a sneak attack.
Big Macs vs British Banquets
The palace chefs will prepare gourmet feasts with Scottish lamb and Dover sole. But will Trump ask for a Big Mac and Diet Coke before bed? Probably.
The Trump Baby Blimp Returns
Protesters never miss a chance to fly that giant orange baby balloon. If it is patched up, expect to see it floating over London again.
Piers Morgan’s Guaranteed Meltdown
Piers Morgan will have a meltdown. This is not a prediction. It is a guarantee.
Will Trump Pocket a Souvenir?
Does anyone really believe he will leave Windsor Castle empty-handed? Someone better lock up the candlesticks.
The King Meets the Comeback
In the end, this royal visit will be part old-school pomp and part reality show. You have King Charles with his climate mission and royal etiquette. You have Trump with his Big Macs, oil rigs, and Melania’s runway moments. Somewhere in between, there will be polite toasts, awkward small talk, and a thousand headlines ready to go viral.
Circle September 17 to 19 on the calendar. Windsor Castle will never be the same. If Trump takes Harry and Meghan back to the King, if Melania outshines the crown, and if the climate talk stays off the table, we all win.
God bless America. And pass the cheeseburgers.
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Feature Image: Roger Harris, CC BY 3.0, via Wikimedia Commons
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